Altruism, Ultimate Happiness and Boundaries

Altruism is defined by Merriam Webster as an unselfish regard for or devotion to the welfare of others. But this definition is not complete for me. I like the definition that the Dalai Lama offers.

"Altruism has two aspects. Loving others does not mean that we should forget ourselves. When I say that we should be compassionate, this does not mean helping others at the expense of ourselves. Not at all. Sometimes I say that the buddhas and bodhisattvas are the most selfish of all. Why? Because by cultivating altruism they achieve ultimate happiness.

We, in our selfishness, are very foolish and narrow-minded. All we do is create more suffering for ourselves. The selfishness of the buddhas and bodhisattvas is functional and efficient (regarding altruistic behavior). It allows them not only to achieve awakening, but also the capacity to help others. That is really worthwhile. For me, this proves that to create maximum happiness for oneself, one needs to develop compassion, this is Buddhist logic. If compassion induced misery, then it would be questionable. Why practice something that brings us more trouble? But that is certainly not the case with compassion.

Just imagine if we all lived with NO compassion, thinking only of ourselves. We would suffer greatly. The more you think of others, the happier you are." Dalai Lama

You can replace the word buddhas and bodhisattvas with whatever you call Source/God.

We must not forget ourselves in cultivating altruistic behavior. In our compassion and assisting others we are still allowed to set boundaries and allow or disallow how we are treated. Our compassion can and does exist separate from behavior we allow as acceptable from others.

For example, I was in a situation with a co-worker recently and I was altruistically offering my time, assistance and ear on a personal level when the co-worker's behavior turned provocative and unacceptable to me. I was not judging him; however, in discernment of the situation it made me uncomfortable thus unacceptable. In a firm manner, I set the boundary that the behavior was not appropriate and recognize that his desire of my time and attention had ulterior motives. With this new understanding I was able to back away from a desire to help him without guilt. Yes, I still have unconditional love for him as Soul learning his own lessons in life. I have no anger or judgment; however, nor will I place myself in a situation where I assist him again. That is the balance.

Altruism is a key to developing happiness; however, it must be done with just as much love, care and concern for self and boundaries as we offer others. Then giving freely of self is a beautiful experience. Again in the words of the Dalai Lama "Loving others does not mean that we should forget ourselves." Altruism should not create negative circumstance.

Wishing you ultimate happiness via cultivating altruism full of self love!

Belladonna, The Movie

Belladonna is a beautiful GLASS KINGDOM picture soon to be released. I had the honor of receiving an advanced copy from the writer/producer, Annika Glac. It is a really exciting love story with interwoven past life memories. I was delighted at the first scene when the voice over is a female Hypnotherapist leading her client through a past life regression. It was beautifully portrayed with some of the same imagery I use in my practice. The main character, Luke, is preoccupied with bits and pieces of spontaneous past life recall. Many of us have these and don’t even recognize what it is. Recurring dreams are often past life memories slipping through.



The interplay of love between more than two of the characters made Belladonna interesting. Many people have a romanticized version of what a soul mate is and that there is only one. Maybe there is only one soul mate and maybe not, but we can certainly love many deeply. Love is deep and complex and so is this script. Luke is marrying his long time love, Katherine, when Amelia comes into his life and he tries to understand why she is so familiar when they have never met before. How can we be so drawn to someone we’ve never met? Something so deep unravels within him. In addition, the film is visually beautiful and the acting superb. The synopsis describes Belladonna as a mesmerizing love story and boy it is!

It is also very interesting how many nuances were brought through the various lifetimes. This is fascinating because I see this in with clients and I am glad that the writer and director were aware enough to add many interesting elements. For example, past life preferences often stick with us like an affinity for a certain era or maybe we collect civil war memorabilia. These habits and areas you feel pulled toward are often clues to your past lives. In Belladonna, Luke is drawn to a career choice that reflects his past life skills and I find this to be a common thread for my clients. They build upon previous skills and experiences and bring them forward to the present. It may even surprise you to know that children often create drawings depicting past life occurrences.

I am thrilled at the launch of this movie and look forward to its great success. Belladonna is such a mainstream and handsome movie that I think it will help bring about more kitchen table conversations about past lives. There are so much healing and joyful connections available through past life regression and the prospect of having more awareness brought to the subject truly excites me!

Check out the trailer for yourself. Since the film has not been released yet, register so you can get notified when it does come to your area. http://www.belladonnathemovie.com/register-2.html

Past Life Regression, Belief is Unnecessary for Healing

From a counseling perspective, of course our past effects our current state of being. Those things in our lives that have traumatized us can create deep long lasting responses. Just as someone who has been abandoned by a loved one, this abandonment will rise up when a similar feeling occurs in the present moment.

For example, say as a young girl, Lisa’s father left her family or died. This may leave Lisa with a deep fear of abandonment. This fear and hurt if left unresolved will pop up in very negative ways for Lisa. Like if a friend calls to cancel a date, these old feelings may make Lisa overreact or become depressed. So to say the past effects us if left unresolved is accurate and profound.

Believe in Past Lives, or Not
No matter what your belief in past lives is you can still heal from Past Life Regression Therapy. Think of it this way: the subconscious mind, also known as your higher self, is always guiding you; whether you choose to listen or not is another issue. The subconscious can use imagination and metaphors to provide you with the answers you need to gather deeper understanding of yourself and your motives. So you can think of past life regression as just imagination. It doesn’t matter. By going with the imagination and just allowing thoughts and images to flow to you, amazing revelations can occur. These revelations can have lasting effect on your present and future state of being and how you operate.

While I personally have always believed in past lives, I use to think there was no use for those memories. Since working with clients and Past Life Regression, I realize the depth of healing that can occur from these memories. Just as, quite often the past experiences (this life or others) effect our current, deep healing occurs by acknowledging the past.

Creative Imagination
Past life memories can also be thought of as creative imagination, your subconscious ability to bring up issues and create metaphors for growth and healing. Just like dreams can be metaphor, or other types, allowing your subconscious to speak to you give opportunity for growth.

Your subconscious is your true self, your highest self, your Soul Self. You can tap into your subconscious on your own by meditating, praying, listening inwardly, and hypnosis (the deep state of relaxation and focused concentration). Practice helps. You can access healing much more quickly with practice.

I respect all points of view. For my clients, it doesn't matter if they believe it to be real, what does matter, is that healing and change occurs in this life and moving ahead. This takes being open to the experience, even if it is viewed as just imagination.

Don’t get caught up on words and semantics, just evaluate from the standpoint of "Am I behaving and feeling different, better, than I was before the session?"

Hypnosis in Layman’s Terms

Hypnosis is focused concentration. It is a natural state we go in and out of several times a day. Most people are not aware of this true definition of hypnosis.

Some examples of our natural hypnotic state include:

• Watching a movie and focusing so intensely that you are not distracted by external sensation
• Being at dinner, reaching for the salt and so engrossed in a friend’s story that you stop yourself in mid-reach
• Driving a car and day dreaming
• Reading a good book and not hearing the kids playing in the next room

Another word for theses states of being is trance, and the trance state varies in depth. Hypnosis is a word that has many negative connotations and yet it is a natural and totally safe opportunity to focus inward. A therapist can stimulate the trance state, but only with the individual’s agreement. If you are not in agreement with moving into a trance state, you will not get there. And you will only go as deep as you desire. No one can make you go there.

Alternative Labels for Hypnosis include:

• Guided Imagery


• Guided Meditation


• Deep Relaxation


• Visualization

As a Clinical Hypnotherapist, I help clients intensely focus inwardly while deeply relaxing. I believe that there is all you need to help you “be the best you,” within your own subconscious. The therapist can guide you in accessing your own power to heal from within.

Because your consent is the cornerstone of allowing yourself to go to this deep level, your trust in the therapist is extremely important. Without trust, your subconscious will block you from accessing important and often immediate transformational information.

There is a great misconception to hypnosis and that is while in a state of trance, you are unaware of what is going on. This is absolutely not true. Just like when watching an enthralling movie and you block out the phone, or the kids next door you may not consciously be aware of the possible distractions but if the kids came in the room with a bloody lip, you would immediately stop what you are doing. It is the same with being hypnotized. If the hypnotist asks you to do something that is out of alignment with your wishes, you will immediately be fully aware.

The subconscious mind has a natural protective ability.

For example, another hypnotherapist tells a story of before he became a hypnotherapist, he was going to one and while in the deep trance state, she told him to update his look by shaving his beard and moustache and getting rid of his glasses. He was not in agreement with directive and suddenly was fully alert and told her that that was a wrong thing to do. I could not agree more, it is wrong and unethical to direct clients where it was never their intention to go. Luckily your subconscious protector, sometimes called “the overseer” is always at work.

Another misconception is that you won’t remember. Many times people will say “I wasn't hypnotized, I remember everything you said.” Unfortunately, there is no signifying bell that goes off telling you “now you are hypnotized.” Most of the session will be remembered.

After a session with my clients, we do a review where I go over my notes of what happened and my assessment. By going over what occurred, most people then recall any missing details.

Hypnosis Helps With

Hypnosis helps with many issues some of which include:

• Stress
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Fears and Phobias
• Sleeplessness
• Grief and Bereavement
• Career Guidance
• Pain Management or Removal
• Enhancing Relationships
• Bring Out Latent Talents
• Reconnecting with Happiness
• Weight Loss

Hypnosis is natural and completely safe. While some results may come in the first session, it may take several sessions depending upon how deep the pain and your ability to open yourself to the process and to the therapist. As long as you are able to trust your Hypnotherapist and your desire is in agreement with your deepest self, you will see results. There is great healing available from within yourself, we all have it. You can access it yourself through meditation a good hypnotherapist is simply a vehicle to open this access to your highest self.

The more you are able to practice meditation on your own, the more you will be able to open up to the deeper parts of yourself and thus allowing the Hypnotherapist to take you to an even deeper place of self-healing. The access is within you and the healing comes from you.

Rewriting Affirmations

Overcome Internal Barriers and Working with Affirmations

The benefits of affirmations are vast. Affirmations are uplifting statements which allow you to choose your direction of growth and/or change. You may pick and choose those that fit and feel comfortable. When you sense you negative feelings about an affirmation that you really desire to align yourself with, begin by rewording the affirmation.

If, for example, I was working on conquering an issue and one of the affirmations is “I am worthy” but I don’t feel worthy, my body would likely signal me, in a tense, apprehensive feelings. And if you were working on money affirmations with statements like “I deserve financial abundance” “I handle money wisely” but those statements are not true to your heart, the best way to overcome and break through this money barrier is to listen to your internal reactions and rephrase the statements to be softer until your body has no negative reaction.

How do you phrase an affirmation softer?

The best way for me to help you phrase affirmations that are less powerful is to show you by examples. First, affirmations should always be kept positive and in the present tense. With that in mind, let’s use the examples to illustrate how to reword an affirmation. By maneuvering around issues your mind resists, you are able to leap into new beliefs.

Let’s use the examples we have been working with:

1. I Handle Money Wisely


2. Deserve Financial Abundance


3. I Am Worthy

1. I Handle Money Wisely, could become

• My ability to handle money wisely increases daily


• I am now wiser at handling money


• My desire and intent is to wisely handle money


• My decisions about money are easily and wisely made

2. I Deserve Financial Abundance, could become

• My beliefs are transforming, I can now say it is my intent to feel deserving of financial abundance


• Each day I feel more and more deserving of financial abundance


• Without knowing how or why, I am deserving of Financial Abundance


• The universe knows I am worthy of financial abundance

3. I Am Worthy, could become

• Each day I allow myself to feel more and more worthy


• Self worth is important to me


• I am worthy of _____ (find something that resonates with your core)


• I am entitled to claim my self-worth


• I am working to be the best me I can, of this I am worthy


• I welcome true self-worth

Can you hear the difference between 1) “I handle money wisely” and 2) “I am now wiser about handling money”? Can you feel the difference? Do not stay with affirmation number two for too long. Your objective should be for new growth and to step into a new thought pattern. As soon as you can, start slipping the stronger affirmations into your daily list. You can use both until you can release the softer affirmation.

Common mistakes of wording affirmations

Some of the common mistakes when creating affirmations are to put them in a negative perspective or a future tense.

For example:

• I will try to be more positive


• I do not smoke


• I never think bad thoughts

All three of these examples are poorly written. To say “I will try” anything means you have not yet done it. If you keep repeating phrases like this to yourself, you will not likely accomplish what you desire. When you tell yourself anything in a negative term such as “I do not…” the subconscious self eliminates the negative and focuses on the thing. So if you say “I do not fall down” all the subconscious hears is “I fall down.”

Try this; say “I don’t want ice cream.” Now tell me, what are you thinking about? Not wanting? Or are you thinking about ice cream? I hope you get the point.

As you work with affirmations that you can internally agree with, you will find that in time, your internal resistance will lessen. Keep checking back with the stronger affirmation to see if you are able to use it. And you may even choose to put both affirmations in your daily mantra, the softer one with the stronger one until you are able to let the softer affirmation go.

Soul Mate - Finding Your Perfect Soul Mate - 6 Week Online Class

Here is a sneak peek at the lesson for Day 1 of the Online Class - Finding Your Perfect Soul Mate...

Characteristics of
Your Soul Mate

Since we are all unique, each of us has a unique vision of what a perfect Soul Mate is. Today, I would like you to list the characteristics of that unique, perfect soul mate below as a comment. Characteristics are the character of the person, not what they look like. Looks change.

Think about what friends looked like 10 years ago, and what they look like now. Does it really matter how their physical appearance has changed? I hope not...LOL (but let me know if it is true...I will have a bit different direction to take the class). Likely, you are friends with them because you enjoy somethings about their personality.

Dream wildly when you create this list. Don't worry about how to find that person. We will deal with that later. For right now, just ask yourself, what does my Soul need in a loving mate?

Here are a few things that were on my list when I was searching for a Soul Mate:

• Kind
• Loving
• Sincere
• Loves his family
• Respects his mother
• Enjoys traveling
• We work well together
• We love to laugh together
• Makes me a better person
• Is helpful to others
• Giving
• Strong (knows what he wants) and Brave (not afraid to be real)
• I love the way he kisses
• I am attracted to him

You will continue to revise this list as the class progresses. You must write it down. This commitment to paper (or electronic) develops your intent, do not skip this step.

If you are interested in registering, for this visit the Online Class page of http://www.powertouplift.com/

The Secret Law of Attraction

The Secret Law of Attraction is one of the hidden natural laws of the universe. Whether you believe it or not, it is still at work. Just like the gravity, no matter if you believe in gravity or not the force is still working on your body to keep it planted on the ground.

So What is the Law of Attraction?

The book The Secret that Oprah talks about and promotes is based on The Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction is simply what you think is attracted to you. This is a powerful natural force and it puts the power to be whatever you wish back in your hands once your realize this natural law is in action. It also allows you the power to have whatever you desire and to do whatever you want. As a matter of fact since, like gravity, this natural law is always at work, you can now be aware that you have created everything in your life by attracting it to you.

Yes. It is true. You have created the life you are living right now. If you are struggling financially, don't like your mate, or hate your job, these are all things you have attracted to you. So instead of feeling bad about your circumstance or being frustrated, simply recognize the natural law of attraction and change your thoughts.

Thoughts Become Things

There is an old saying that goes something like this “thoughts become ideas, ideas become words, words become actions, actions become habits, habits become your character and your character becomes your destiny.” Thoughts become your destiny. What power thoughts have in our lives!

So what are your thoughts? Have you really listened to the mind chatter going on in your head lately?

First pick an area that you would like to change then promise yourself to really listen to yourself just for the next 24 hours. Find out what you are telling yourself through your actions or your thoughts on that topic. For example, if you are working on prosperity issues, watch what you think and say about money.

Lack of Prosperity

Some common pitfalls to negative prosperity thinking are:

• I have to work hard for money
• I am always broke
• I can't get a break
• Oh I bet there are only bills in the mail again
• I never will be able to catch up
• I am too deep in debt to do anything about it

This kind of thinking simply attracts these beliefs into becoming your reality. It may sound simple, but transforming the beliefs you have had in place for many years, if not decades, takes effort. Don't give up though! Once you see the cycle, you can break the cycle, and from there it becomes easier and easier. The first step is knowing your own beliefs.

Law of Attraction 24 Hour Challenge

For 24 hours, pay attention to all the thought on one specific topic you desire to change. See what beliefs come up, find the words you use to describe your tasks surrounding the area. Quite often they are beliefs that were formed when we are young an come from our family. You can do the 24 hour challenge with any topic. The first step is knowing your own beliefs. So try for 24 hours to watch what feelings, and thoughts and words come up about any topic you would like to work on and see what beliefs come up.

Here are just a sampling of the topics worth working on:

• Money
• Relationships
• Children
• Specific People
• Self
• Work

Determine what beliefs you have about the topic by simply being aware for a 24 hour of period. Just a small example comes from a friend who is struggling with prosperity issues. She took the challenge and wrote down all the clues that came up about money. She found her mind would say negative things over and over about money. She would go to the mail box and instead of being expectant, she would approach it fearfully thinking "Oh man, what bills are now due." Later she hear herself saying "Money may come easy for you, but it doesn't for me."

By being aware of these thoughts and many more, she was able to stop the mind from this by using affirmations. She now approaches the mailbox with joy and she is finding she gets more than just bills, she gets cards from friends, and checks. Random checks. She wins stuff and those notices come in the mail too. After a few weeks of forcing herself to be excited to get the mail, it is now easy because the Law of Attraction has brought her good news via mail.

I just found the book The Four Agreements and boy is it fantastic. It relates well with the Law of Attraction for the first agreement is to be impeccable with your words. And one of my favorite passages is toward the end of the book “I want you to forget everything you have learned in your whole life. This is the beginning of a new understanding, a new dream. The dream you are living is your creation. It is your perception of reality that you can change at any time. You have the power to create hell, and you have the power to create heaven.”

I have believed this since I was a kid. We create our own world here on earth. What is heaven to me may be your personal hell. So if you now recognize that the power to create your own heaven right here, right now, then you can begin a transformation by focusing on being impeccable with your words and your thoughts.

Abundance

Out of The Secret and The Law of Attraction comes many way of working with this powerful force. You can attract anything to your life such as:

• Wealth
• A Soul Mate
• Joy
• Abundance
• Self-Love
• Healthy Relationships

All these topics are worth taking the 24 hour challenge. Besides you have nothing to loose except your old way of thinking!